Good day… evening… whatever time of day or night it is when you read this and welcome to Fridays with Frost. This is the segment in which people ask me questions and I answer them. Seems simple, right? There’s no catch. I ask people if they want my thoughts on something and they ask me questions. Keep in mind, I’m not an expert on anything, and you probably shouldn’t take advice from some stranger on the internet, at least not without doing further research or seeking the help of a professional. That’s my disclaimer. Let’s get to it.
Amy C. asks me a two-fer right off the bat. She says, “Jim’s or Pat’s?” and “Sprinkles or Jimmies?”
For those of you outside the Philadelphia area, both Jim’s and Pat’s are cheesesteak restaurants in the city. I know Pat’s because it sits catty-corner from Geno’s and they’re the two cheesesteak places that outsiders have probably heard the most about. Surprisingly, I am not a huge fan of cheesesteaks. I’ll eat maybe 2 or 3 a year, but I will say I wasn’t a fan of Pat’s the couple times I had one from there. I’ve never tried Jim’s (and I almost had a heart attack when I saw what a Philly Taco was). There is a place I like called Pudge’s, because their cheesesteaks are bomb, and because my nickname for many years has been Pudge.
To Amy’s second question, sprinkles. Always sprinkles. Never Jimmies, you psychopath.
A good friend James S. asks me, “What’s the best way to handle rejection?”
Short answer? Move on. Longer answer? Divest yourself of expectations. Having wants and needs and desires is natural, we all experience that. Having expectations is unrealistic and places us outside of our own mind and capacity to act. It prevents us from seeking our own contentment because it now depends on someone else to make it complete. As the meme goes, that’s not how this works.
Ever hear someone tell you that they met the person they fell in love with (and who fell in love with them) when they weren’t even looking for a relationship? EXACTLY. Because they were not blinded by their own desire they were able to live in that moment and take each new encounter for what it was, not what they hoped it would become. Remember, you cannot force anyone to love you back. Learn how to be happy with who you are, and let the love come to you.
Another quick note- it’s not just personal expectations that need to be dismissed, it’s expectations others may have of you. The pressure is on for people as young as 10 to find boyfriends or girlfriends and it only gets more intense as we get older. Remember, you don’t have to chase that. Your value as a person is not determined by your relationship status and don’t let anyone tell you differently.
Will G. doesn’t shy away. He wants to know, “How do we deal with a highly politicized environment using our arts and/or craftsmanship?”
However you as a creative person sees fit. You have to find the way that works for you. I love a lot of political bands. Coming from punk rock, hardcore, and early thrash metal it was hard not to. Being the child of hippie music lovers who grew up in the 60’s made it even harder to avoid. Still, there’s no one-size answer for this. I will say that I like art that makes me think. I like art that is subversive and challenges norms and standards of acceptability. I dare say, I even like art that offends me, because it forces me to think about why I’m offended by it. Yet, I choose not to make provocative or subversive music. I’d rather discuss politics with others as a peer, not as someone in a band telling people how they should think. Plenty of bands have and it’s worked for them but that approach just isn’t for me.
A good phrase I heard a couple months ago sums this up perfectly and I think it fits in many areas of life- do what you want, and accept that some people might not like it.
Karl J. asks me, “If you could sit 14 yr old Matti down what life lessons would you tell him?”
”Listen here you little shit…” and then it would go downhill from there. But I think that no matter what, 14 year old me wouldn’t fucking listen because, well, if people think I am stubborn now, at 14 I was insufferable.
Frank J. wonders, “If you were asked to do one and only one badass world tour who would be the bands you would want to do that with?”
Well Frank, there are many bands we’d love to tour with but if it’s one tour and then we have to be done, I’m going to say it has to be with a huge band where we could make some serious loot. I’m going to throw a strange answer out there: Foo Fighters. I’ll tell you why (yes, I said that in Stephen Pearcy’s voice).
The Foos are one of the few bands out there today who are universally loved among fans of rock and metal. They are arguably the last band today doing guitar-driven rock music unironically, with a sense of enthusiasm and purpose not found in their contemporaries. Also, how awesome is Dave Grohl? Seriously, the guy is still a fan of music after all these years and being in two of the biggest rock bands in the history of music. Not only would this tour be epic and fun on a level like no other, it would be commercially successful too, which would then help me ease into the nursing home life.
Lastly, Justin T. says, “Do you have any advice for teens?” It’s a pretty broad ask but I’ll do my best.
1. It does get better.
2. High school is not the best time of your life.
3. You are stronger than you think you are, and you will learn more than my generation will ever know by the time you’re 30. So don’t fuck this up.
Matti Frost is the singer/songwriter for Frost Giant. He is also a wizard. Okay, maybe not a wizard, but he did once have sex with a dude who kinda looked like Hagrid who might have said something about his wand and working magic.